


In Which Henry Does Not Play Spy

by Phurtershep



Category: OMORI (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phurtershep/pseuds/Phurtershep
Summary: a shitpost-y crack fic based on two characters from gen3king's fic/AU Playing Hero, which can be found here ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/28932078/chapters/70987407 ). None of this will make sense if you haven't read that, so... yeah. Go do that.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	In Which Henry Does Not Play Spy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gen3king](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gen3king/gifts).



“Hey Henry, have you ever heard of TF2?”

Since Joey spoke those words, Henry’s life has not known peace. 

  
  


“MEEEEEDIIIIIIIC!!!” Joey yelled over their voice chat, fully aware that Henry was  _ not _ playing medic. If it was an indirect jab at him for not playing medic or just him being  _ very _ immersed in playing soldier he had no idea, and he didn’t want to ask. 

Heavy was simple. Shoot gun, throw sandwich (Joey kept insisting he refer to it as a sandvich, but he wasn’t quite to that point yet), and generally just get stuff done. He liked that. It was a simple break from all the other stresses of college life. If his leisure became stressful, there wasn’t really a point to it. 

“Come onnnnnnn Henry, you can play something a bit more involved than Heavy, I believe in you.”

“I like playing Heavy, man. Don’t know what do tell you.” 

“Well I know what to tell you, and that’s to pick medic. You’re a med student, it’s meant to be!” 

“I’m not a sadist though?” 

“Playing medic is more of a masochism thing.”

“That is not nearly as convincing as you think it is, Joey.” 

“It’ll be fun, trust me!”

It was not fun.

It was the video game equivalent of being a short nerd in middle school, everyone wanted to either kick your ass or demean you until you helped them.  _ Everyone _ . Either he was being focused by everything he could see (and everything he couldn’t see) or was being badgered by anyone close to him with voice commands and sometimes just voices yelling at him to help them when he was already struggling to keep people at their max health. 

A cocky, overaggressive Scout running towards him in a straight line to bring him down, a Soldier blasting themselves at what felt like seventy miles per hour just to get a single shot at him, every Demoman saving their trap for when  _ he  _ walked past it. Snipers sitting posed in one spot for an entire minute waiting to get a shot at his elbow. Spies making suicidal rushes to get just him before they were torn apart. It was miserable.

But... in an ass backwards way, it was satisfying. Doing a good job and keeping other people doing what they needed to was satisfying.

Every time he messed up though…

“HENRY, PLEAAAAAASE I NEEEEEEED A MEEEEEEEEEDIC!”

“JOEY YOU ARE STANDING THREE FEET FROM A MEDPACK!”

“IT’S FOR YOUUUUUU!”

“I’M FUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL!”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU INVITE ME TO EAT THEN?!”

“NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Despite the fact they were yelling at each other, this was the fun part of playing with friends. Unwind and yell stupid things at eachother that you’re going to laugh about before, during, and after.

So, maybe playing Medic was fun.

This led to Henry making a worse choice. 

Playing the Engineer.

Now, everyone wanted him dead not because he was useful to the people around him, but because he was an active detriment. He’d promoted himself from middle school nerd to unfunny class clown, and  _ everyone _ was going to make sure he knew it. 

Of course, there’s some things a shotgun can address rather easily, as Joey taught him.

The Spy that had been pestering him ragdolled against the wall, bending into a human pretzel on the ground. 

“As a wise man once said, Henry.” Joey said, putting on a thick Texan accent, “You just ain’t doin’ it right, boy.”

“Please never do that voice again.”

“Aw c’mon pardner, you know you like it! Everyone loves a mechanical cowboy.” 

And then Henry found a Quick-Fix. 

Henry didn’t get why this would be of extreme interest to Joey.

Joey had been planning for this.

Joey wanted a pocket medic that would follow him wherever he was able to jump to.

Thanks to this, Henry learned somewhat how to rocket jump, if he wanted to or not.

“ I’M FLYING!”

“YEAH YOU ARE, LET’S GOOOOOOO!”

They were both swiftly killed.

So they did it again.

And again.

And it was actually quite fun.

Something funky would happen every time Joey would take him someplace stupid just to see what would happen, places neither of them really belonged in.

“Alright Joey, your turn to be the health bot.” Henry said, swapping to Scout. 

Henry liked shotguns. Scout had an excellent one, probably his favorite of any game he’d played so far. Each  _ ker-chunk _ was satisfying on some base, intrinsic level. Blasting someone apart in two shots? Icing on the cake.

“You know Henry, you’re getting better at this a lot faster than I thought you would. You’re like… a natural!” Joey remarked, as Hero went on a killing spree.

“Med students are supposed to be smart you know.”

“Oh shut it, you know what I mean.” Joey said, his voice conveying a shrug even through intense compression and lack of any video. 

“Yeah, and- back up, sentry.” 

They’d already started working like a team, even if it was just a duo. Honestly, it made Henry think of something... but he couldn't put his finger on it.

He wanted to be a part of a larger team. 

“Hey, Joey. You have any other friends that play this game?”

“Nah, not many. Not any you’d get along with anyways.”

“How about we find some then?” Henry asked, “Let’s make some new friends.” 

“Well, hey. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“Only one way to find out.” Henry said.

As it turns out, Henry could be called quite a few colorful things. VERY colorful things. But he did meet some nice people, including someone who was trying to roleplay as Captain Spaceboy. Who knew obscure comic books had such a cult following? They were hilarious, they had something snarky to say about everything. 

At one point he saw someone who talked and sounded… painfully close to Kel. But they were actually in college too, though a few states away. 

He could go on and on and on, but…

The world felt a lot bigger after that.


End file.
